رد: Can you write a story?
Hello Special Miss :)
First of all, I love writing and my style of writing has changed
greatly during the years.
Secondly, I love stories and I read a lot of them either
in our language or in English
I have a story in mind which I long to finish in the coming
days/years. Some people are so gifted with the talent
of linking the incidents together smoothly
and that is the hardest thing I face while I'm writing :p
A friend once told me and she used to write stories
not very good but she has her own way. She told me
that if you want to write a story imagine yourself in it.
Very true thought but sometimes you have to look from
different views to this story in order to build this solid material
that will be liked by everyone.
For me, the 2 most important factors to determine the good
story writer are, imagination and language skills.
Imagination is by creating a whole world for your story so
that the reader will fly freely in it with the help of language
skills which I find very vital in these types of writing. The language
should be easy, exciting and will make the reader pass easily
from one place to the other without finding it hard to understand
or lose that link between him/her and the story.
that was what I want to share with you
I'd love to share my story if I did write it
but until then, I know yours are going to be beautiful
Gr8 topic
~ Special Miss
Thank you so much
:smile (101):
we need this kind of topics around here
رد: Can you write a story?
Thanks for the encouraging words, dear أسيرة الحب
and I'm longing to read your story.
Please make me one of the first people to read it.
:smile (75):
رد: Can you write a story?
It'll be a great pleasure if you did sweety :smile (41):
when I finish it I'll send you the 1st edition.. what say ?
رد: Can you write a story?
Hey, there!
Where are the stories?
I was sure that I'll be reading many stories today!
would you like me to start with one?
Fine!!!
But you'll have to tell me what you think, ok
?
:smile (48):
I'm not great in writing short stories. So. I'll give you my story in parts...
Two Faces of Life
[SIZE="4"]
[SIZE="5"] [LEFT] "Raining again. When will I be able to escape this prison? Why does it have to rain when I have an important mission to accomplish? I know that I am capable of mending the secret hide-out under the rain or any bad weather but looks like Mrs. Slim knew what I am thinking about. That is why she locked me in my room until it stops raining. Richy is still asleep and that is why I am stuck in here with this stupid history book to read. Mrs.Slim thinks that it is the only way to keep me quite and let Richy have his nap in peace. Believe me, this will not work. I get even more restless when I am forced to study ".
These were the thoughts which Jimmy Harder was having as he mounted the edge of his bed, imagining it to be his little horse. His history book ended up to be used as a helmet on the boy's head. After some time, he walked to the door and turned it's nob in order to make sure if the door was locked. Ah, yes. There isn't a much secured prison, for Mrs.Slim had also locked the window. For moments, Jimmy felt sad because he could not sneek to the kitchen where he could, at most of the evenings, find the stable man, Barry. Barry was a red indian whom Mr.Harder used to take care of his horses in his large farm. Barry loved Mr.Harder's children very much and for him, they were little spirits. He used to tell them a lot of stories about the life of Indians, especially to Jimmy (since he was the one who could be seen often). Most of those stories were known as Indian ledgends. He once told Jimmy that once; two little Indians were having an adventure in the woods when they fell into the valley of braves where the great worriors used to be burried. Two little spirits rose and flew out of the valley, restless and longing to find their new masters. One of them was the spirit of the eagle and the other one was the spirit of the wolf. "Do you know who the spirits' new masters are?" Barry asked little Jimmy.
"Who are they, Kocoum?" asked Jimmy who was the only person to call Barry by his real, Indian name.
"You may not believe this, but they are two white worriors. Little in size but not in deeds. Jim and Richard".
"Me?!" cried Jimmy, excitedly.
"Yes, you are like a young wolf, full of spirit, egnorant, strong, and lively".
"But Richy is ill. Father always says that he is going to die".
"Richy is not going to die, my little worrior. He is witty and long-sighted. He has a clear mind and a pure heart. The eagle within him is still sleeping but when it wakes up, there will be no match for this young lad[/SIZE[/LEFT[/SIZE
This is the first part of my story.
If you think that it's good, I'll write down another part of it,
]]]".
رد: Can you write a story?
wow .. that was extraordinary..
that is very good for a start and you surely have
the tools of writing inside you.. I can never write that well
even if I learned it :smile (77):
small note
اقتباس:
Barry was a red indian
I'm not sure that you can say "red" Indian
because I think it looks like you translated what's on your mind exactly
You may write Native Americans as it written here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Native_..._United_States
that's what I wanted to clear out
other than that .. IT IS PERFECT
gr8 going .. and post the second part soon
:smile (101):
رد: Can you write a story?
[CENTER]Thanks a lot,
أسيرة حبه for the encouraging words
I'll take your important note in consideration and I am so greatful for it. I'm really glad that you like the story.
This gives me the courage to send the second part as soon as possible.[/CENTER
:smile (59):
]
رد: Can you write a story?
[CENTER][CENTER]Thanks a lot,
أسيرة حبه for the encouraging words
I'll take your important note in consideration and I'm so grateful for it. I'm really glad that you like the story.
This gives me the courage to send the second part as soon as possible.[/CENTER
:smile (59):[/CENTER
]]
رد: Can you write a story?
[CENTER]Hello, again!
This is another part of my story.
I hope you like it and share your own stories to me. I would love to read them.
Two Faces of Life
The Tale of the Worriors
Mr.Harder was one of the American noble men. He was the happiest man when his son, Jim was born, for he wanted an heir to inheret his large farm and money to continue his quest of inlarging the family's wealth. Mr.Harder was so happy with his son that he did not notice how tired his wife became after giving birth to Jim. Therefore, he did not prevent her from giving birth to another child two years later. The new baby was white in an upnatural way and its hair was like strings of gold. It was so small and thin that the doctor thought that it would die in a week. Mr.Harder was angry when he heared of his second son's condition and wished to blame his wife but when he heared the doctor saying that she was very ill after giving birth to the baby, he prefered blaming the innocent creature. Mrs.Harder died four days later while the baby survived and continued living. Mr.Harder could have been sad for his wife's death but he was rather angry with little Richard, who was named by the loving chief maid, Mrs. Slim. Mr. Harder was so angry even to name the boy.
Years went by as the boys grew and made a great change into the silent house. It was rather Jim who was making most of the noise. He was a mischifous boy who would not sit still for a moment and that is why his body was always covered with scraches and cuts. Richard, on the other hand, was a quite child who had the ability to sit in a sofa in the warm library for a long time. There, he was able to read as many books as he wanted. Although he was very quite, there was something in him which was full of activity. He had a pair of deep, blue eyes with sharp gazes which made a person think twise before teasing him.
Mr.Harder never married again but tried to be a good father for his children. But, like the rest of the fathers, he had a mistake which could be simple for some people and could be majour for others. He had a favourite son and this made him a good father for one son but a bad father for the other. While Jim had all the attention he could have from his father, his brother, Richard, was totally neglected and forgotten. Richard had the feeling that he had no father and this feeling got worse after the day when he fell into his crises. It happened that Jim and Richard were playing one day infront of the house when Richard suddenly fell to the ground. It was natural for Mr.Harder and for his workers and servants to see Richard running alittle and then falling to the ground, but rising again with a little smile on his white face. But Richard did not rise on that time. Instead, he lied on ground without making a single movement. Mrs.Slim rushed to him and found him unconcious. Little Richard was taken to his bed and a doctor was sent for. After seeing the boy, he said that Richard's body was too weak to move a lot and that his bones were not strong enough to hold his body standing again. Since that day, Richard had to stay in his room for most of the day and used a wheel chair if he wanted to go somewhere inside the house. Richard felt more like an orphan since then because Mr. Harder, who used to take no notice of the boy, neglected him even more. It was all up to Mrs. Slim, who was not slim at all and who was nice and gentle to the poor boy. On the other hand, she was stricter with Jim who was so spoilt by his father that he had everything he wished to have. Even so, Richard and Jim kept close to each other and they became closer after hearing the tale about the two little spirits. Jim told Richard all about the things he did in school and about what he saw out side the house, since he loved to pretend to be a pilgrim or an adventurer and went wandering for long distances. As for Richard, he used to tell Jim what he read in books and he was clever enough to help him in his lessons.
Both of the little wolf and the little eagle did not know what awaited them in the following years.
[/CENTER]
رد: Can you write a story?
رد: Can you write a story?
That's what we can call talent
Keep going
special miss
I'll join the club
رد: Can you write a story?
[CENTER]Dear friends,
Thanks for your kind words and appreciation.
I'm so glad you liked the story.[/CENTER
:girl face (196):
رد: Can you write a story?
really really good .. mashaa Allah
Bless you my dear..
It's an excellent part .. if you keep up on this way
you'll be a very amazing short stories writer and I mean it
you have this simple words that comes from a simple
imagination .. and a way of telling a story that delivers
the plot very well..
After reading your story I became so excited to write my own
great part and I'm really looking forward to the next one
another note :)
اقتباس:
and its hair was like strings of gold.
you were talking about the baby boy .. so I think you should have
used his hair
best of luck
رد: Can you write a story?
[SIZE="5"][CENTER]Thanks a lot for the encouraging words, dear أسيرة حبه
I'm really glad that I've presented something that you liked>
As for the baby, I was taught that if you're talking about an enfant, it would be better to say" it" because it can't use its own mind yet. Thanks for the note. I really appreciate it.[/CENTER[/SIZE
:smile (96):
]]
رد: Can you write a story?
^ nice to know that info
see I'm getting useful information from you :)
رد: Can you write a story?
[SIZE="5"][CENTER]Thanks for your support, my dear
I really lo
ve hearing from you
[/CENTER[/SIZE
:smile (35):
]]
رد: Can you write a story?
[SIZE="5"]Hi. It's me again! I hope you like the new part of my stopry but to tell the truth, I'm still waiting for your stories. I won't lose hope until I recieve them.
The Favourite Child
[SIZE="4"]"Lonely again. I should be used to the feeling of loneliness. I have been alone since the day I existed. My father never took notice of me and Jimmy feels bored around me. Maybe that is because I am not as lively as Jimmy. I wish I could be as strong as Jimmy instead of being a boy made of ash, as my father says. He seems like a stranger to me because he never speaks to me. No, let me correct this information. He did speak to me but said one simple sentence, keep quite you little bunsh of thin bones! I wonder why he was so angry. All what I did was asking for a book like that he brought to Jimmy. I know that Jimmy will not read it. He is not interested in geography while I like it very much ".
[ Little Richy was reading silently in a quite corner of the living room where he hoped not to be seen by his father. "Richy, dear", called Mrs.Slim as she came into the room. "Do you feel alright to sit in this corner?"
"I am alright, Mrs.Slim".
"I am not sure that you are saying the truth. You were sick last night from crying so much. You're father should have been more gentle".
"It is alright. I should've been stronger and not weak to cry over anything my father says".
"Still, he didn't have a reason to be angry. He never yells at Jimmy!"
"That is because Jimmy is not weak like me. He can go hunting with father or tame the horses with him while I can't. I wish I had a stronger body like Jimmy's!"
"But you have a head better than Jimmy's empty head. You play the piano and the violen beautifully. You can even write fine pieces of poetry".
"I guess so, but all of this isn't comprable to the ability of walking on your own legs and without using the wheel-chair".
Their discussion was interupted by the sound of the main gate opening. "It's father!" Richy said in a shaky voice. "Please, don't give him any hint that I'm sitting here. He won't see me if I sat very still". It was not long befor they heard Mr.Harder's heavy footsteps approaching the room. Richy's heart froze with fear as he watched the tall, broad-shouldered man coming into the room with the usuall hard look on his face. It was hard for him to breath freely because he feared that his father might notice him if he heard his breathes.
"Where is Jim?" he asked Mrs.Slim.
"He went out to play as usuall, Mr.Harder".
"What a shame. I wanted him to see what I've brought him. It’s the whip which he always wanted".
"You know that I'm honost, Mr.Harder. And I'd say honostly that I'd like to beat the spoilt boy with this whip".
"Have you lost your senses, woman?! He is the master after me and I wish he'd be treated respectfully".
"You never said this about young master Richard".
"What is the use of him? I've always knew that this boy was born only to die".
Richard's chest moved faster. He wanted to move the wheels of his chair as fast as possible in order to escape from the room but he feared making his presence noticed. That is why he stayed still.
"He won't die if you gave him more attention!" said Mrs.Slim.
"It's useless to do so, Mrs.Slim. Jim is the one who will live long enough to grow up and handle the matters of the farm and the lands. Richard won't live to accomplish these matters".
They were interrupted by Jimmy who came running into the room, looking as dirty and untidy as he ever had been. He looked as if he had a fight in a mud swamp.
"Good Lord!" cried Mrs.Slim. "What on earth happened to you, Jimmy?"
"It's nothing really!" laughed Jimmy. "I only had a fight with Mike Green".
"Don't tell me that you let him beat you!" cried Mr.Harder.
"No, father. I gave him a black eye".
"That’s my boy! You really deserve the present I've brought you".
"The whip!" cried Jimmy delightfully as he snatched the whip from his father's hands. "Now, I can tame that stubborn horse you brought last week".
"Not so fast, young man", said Mrs.Slim as she cought him befor he runs away. "Not befor you take a bath".
"Do I have to?"
"Otherwise, you won't have any supper".
"Mrs.Slim!" cried Mr.Harder. "I won't allow you to pevent my son from eating".
"Richy!" cried Jimmy, as he broke free from Mrs.Slim's grasp and ran to Richy who was red with anger and shaking with fear. "I didn’t see you!" said Jimmy in complete innocence. "How long have you been sitting here?" Oh, how much did Richy wish to punch him on the nose! How dare he reveal his hiding place? He sat in complete silence. "You should've made your presence known, young man!" said Mr.Harder angerly. He walked towards the shaking boy and was about to shower him with his usual hard words when something happened. For the first time, Richy raised his head and looked into his father's eyes. The looks in his eyes were a mixture of pain and anger and they were enough to make Mr.Harder stand still with a blank expression on his face. Richy, silently, turned the wheels of his chair and left the room, leaving everybody in a shock[/SIZE
].
رد: Can you write a story?
gr8 part..
loved the last paragraph when Richy gave
his father that hard look .. sounds so novelish
Jimmy loves his brother but he doesn't know that
his father's over the top spoily acts are effecting
Richy's life.. very good
but i hope you had a twist in your mind at the end
can't wait for the next part
رد: Can you write a story?
Thanks a lot, my dear! I'm so glad that you loved it.
I'm encouraged to send the following part soon.
Your comments are very wonderful and appreciated
guy face (52):[/CENTER]
رد: Can you write a story?
I'm curious .. how do u get these ideas??
do u have a special strategy to write in this way?
رد: Can you write a story?
My dear friend, أسيرة حبه
The thing is I have a very wild imagination that I have to use somehow. So, I live certain stories that I imagine.
And now, I'm glad that I can tell others about it. And I feel very very happy when people tell me that they like my stories.
I don't follow a certain startegy in writing but I read a lot. In fact, I have my own library in my room.
Thanks a lot for your interest. I'd be delighted if you'd send me your work. I'm sure it'll be great just like you.
:smile (65):
رد: Can you write a story?
special miss
Masah'a Allah
What an enchanting talent you have
I've enjoyed what I've read till now dearest
If you allow me to make some notes here concerning "red indian" , ot's correct
you can use it or use Native American .Both of them are correct
Keep the charm on going sweetie
Wish all the best in your life
The story is sticky
Thanks dear for being here
رد: Can you write a story?
Let's now .. Let me talk about the characters..
Mr. Harder : He is a face that can be seen everywhere..
A father who focuses only on his fortune and who's gonna be the heir of
family business after him.. I think one day he'll suffer from a big loss..
I really feel sorry for his injust way of treating his sons.
Jimmy: He is the active and lively boy .. May be Mrs. Slim thinks he's spoilt but
he loves his brother.. I think he's a carefree boy till now and may be irresponsible !!
Richard: He is poor and always mistreated from his father who's feeding him with
harsh feelings and painful words.. I don't know if his heart will explode one day
negatively !! I don't know how he is going to turn out when the time pass by
cause he is really really sharp, intelligent, lonely and filled with anger and jealousy if I could say so.
رد: Can you write a story?
wow
Well done indeed
You're doing great job Miss
Just keep up such tremendous imagination
I wish you the best
رد: Can you write a story?
Thanks a lot, everybody for your great responses! I really feel overjoyed.
:girl face (107):
Dear supervisor, SoOoSoOo
Thank you for your out-standing massages and a very BIG THANKS for supporting my story and noting my participation as a special one. Your words encourage me to really do my best.
Dr. Future, YOur words are really encouraging. I'm glad to know that you approve of my story. Thank you for your kind words.
My dear أسيرة حبه
Since I've started writing this story, You've been there to read every line and tell me how much you've enjoyed it. I thank you so much for your lovely words
And I'd like to thank all those who read the story and thought that it was worth their time. And if you'd like to read the rest of the story, I'd be glad to continue writing it here.
:girl face (186):