I'm in a trouble..I need your advice

[Wiill Vandom]

I'm a big fan of poetry but unfortunately I'm not good at writing poem..
I do write ..and I do have some ..but I don't think it's good
The reason is not that I don't trust in my self ..the problem that "s I don't know the rules, or how to deal with the words and lines ..
another broblem that I don't have alot of vocab. to chose the strongest word and the one that has deeper meaning ..to make my poem send its massege
however that's what I wrote yesterday ..I want you to read and give me your suggestions and advice.. please please critisize my poem and advise me...

when you open your eyes

in the darkness

you know you can find the light

in your kidness

just look deep

dig inside you

believe me you can't keep

your heart behind you...

I'm looking forward to see your comments..and sorry for my poor spelling

[Aseel]

Your language is so good


Regarding criticizing your poem, I'm gonna leave it to our brothers Meant to be and Try to Reach


They know alot about writing poems >> They're just experts


They're so talented and for sure they're gonna help you

[Wiill Vandom]

Thanx sister Aseel for passing by
and thanx for your nice words but realy I need to learn more and the way still too long infront of me to say that my English is good...but realy thanx

[marygain]

I like your perseverance and insistence to master the English language and you really encouraged me to be just like you...... and together we will reach our goal....by the way ... I liked your poetry ....it has very nice meanings......

[Meant To be]

Well Aseel you put me in trouble , just kidding

Ok sister, I'm so happy to hear that you like poetry either by reading or writing

First, your lines are short, though they have great meanings

But why don't you write more stanzas to make your poem connected to your composed poem


You said in your poem, Dig deep inside you, so I say the same to you

I feel that you can write more than those lines,

whenever you think of writing a poem, think of how you fit the rhyme, it's easy in English

There are no rules to write a poem, as I think we should have called it a free writing, all of us could do that if we just give it a try


,Last but not least

My brother Try To Reach had shared two programs for Nokia mobiles with us in one of his topics, one of them will definitely help you to fit the rhymed words

I checked that topic but the site he uploaded them at, reached the limited time for hosting the file, I will try to upload it to you next time inshallah

[Try To Reach]

man you are not that bad at all

keen on my friend
we are reading you


Go ahead we all waiting for more

God bless you

[Wiill Vandom]

brother try to reach I'm "A GIRL" why do you all call me man or brother

....
any way Thanx for passing ..

Thanx for help brother meant to be that makes me happy to see more advises

Thanx M.J That's kind of you

:36_4_12:

[Try To Reach]

brother try to reach I'm "A GIRL" why do you all call me man or brother
any way Thanx for passing ..

looooooooool

I swear to God i haven't noticed that field in your user panel
plz sister forgive me
I didn't meant to

i was in hurry to reply that Quick

your highness

you are more than welcome here

[Meant To be]

As I promised you sister to share you that program

I hope it helps you


Click Here

[Wiill Vandom]

[QUOTE=Meant To be;269048][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="5"][B][COLOR="DarkRed"]As I promised you sister to share you that program

I hope it helps you ]


Thanx again and again brother meant to be

[Wiill Vandom]

looooooooool

I swear to God i haven't noticed that field in your user panel
plz sister forgive me
I didn't meant to

i was in hurry to reply that Quick

your highness

you are more than welcome here

It is O.k brother you are forgiven

[f e e l . i t]

as meant to B said
u'r good but ur lines R too short ..
try to have more lines ..
&
.. it's lovly words

GooD lUcK ^_^

[Wiill Vandom]

Thanx sister feel it for your advice