" In the Darkest Night "<< my first writing

[سنيوريتا]

In the darkest nights
When stars have been drown in the nightly oceans
I would be there
Watching f'om ma humble window
Cravely
Thinking ..an' wondering..
If he's still there watching with me..

In the darkest nights
It seems that I'm lonely
But "loneliness" had never touched ma life..
Cuz he's always there with me.. in ma mind..
I can feel him with me..
I can hear his heart's harmony..
Singing fo' me..
Inducing me?? Ma heart??
May be
Thinking of him in the darkest nights then..
Comes LOVE fondly
'n dances with me

In the darkest nights..
I look at LOVE's face..
Gazing at its sightless eyes..
Wondering "what would happen!?"
Unconciously..Then..
LOVE touches ma breast softly with its warm hands
Kissing ma nervous heart..
Pleasing it..
N' then smiling at me..

In the darkest nights
We just keep dancing an' dancing
Blindly
Cleverly
As usually
Thinking an' wondering..
"what would happen?!"

*****


I've written this stuff a year ago
and I wish ya guys
you would like it

[(ASTRO)]

Simply amazing

The words dance gracefully with the images. I read it once, twice,thrice and each time felt like the first time. The sweet longing to meet the lover is sooo touching. I can almost see the dark sky with the shining stars in my mind. The image of the sky being an ocean drwoning the stars is clever and fresh

However, I find some of the words confusing. In line 5 for instance, did you mean cravingly? I couldn't find cravely in the dictionary. And in line 22, what do you mean by sightless eyes? do you mean blind or aimless? Also, in line 33, I don't think it's correct to say As usually although it rhymes with the earlier words because it is not correct grammatically

Nonethless, the poem is pleasingly sweet and lovley. I hope that we see more of your creativity dear sister

You are indeed astonishing

[سنيوريتا]

Hellow Son :D

Simply amazing

The words dance gracefully with the images. I read it once, twice,thrice and each time felt like the first time. The sweet longing to meet the lover is sooo touching. I can almost see the dark sky with the shining stars in my mind. The image of the sky being an ocean drwoning the stars is clever and fresh
You are indeed astonishing

encouraging words that would push me on
:rolleyes:

However, I couldn't find cravely in the dictionary.did you mean cravingly?

well son, I'v found Crave and Craving in an Oxford dictionary
that large one with black cover ,if you have one then in page 201
it says
Crave means:to ask earnestly for something..
And son .. to be honest .. I couldn't find this word cravingly
with the "l" and "y" the same thing with "Cravely"..but
eventually we got the meaning..right
?!! ...? ..
:rolleyes:

And in line 22, what do you mean by sightless eyes?

it was according to
"Love is blind"
;) dude!

Also, in line 33, I don't think it's correct to say As usually although it rhymes with the earlier words because it is not correct grammatically

well son .. someone has told me that some grat poets
like Shakespear.. did not conseder grammaticality in their writing
so .. as a new start I didn't understand that saying very well
so .. as a result.. you got the fruit..

:o

And I'm very proud and glad that I've someone here
to correct me
to encourage me
to move on
to the best insha Allah

:o

Thanks alot son for your appreciable comment

[(ASTRO)]

Dear Grandma

First and foremost, it gives me great privilage to be considered one of your sons although being 36 years old I guess makes me one of your grandsons taking into consideration your sweet old age.

Secondly, the word cravingly does exist dear grandma and you can check it out at this site
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=crave
I am sure you do know how to click on the link but in case you don't or for some reason prefer to use the classical way of flipping through the pages of a dictionary, please check the updated version of the American Heritage College dictionary page 324 and I am sure you would see the word carvingly listed as and adverb. You may of course consider using your reading glasses grandma.

Thirdly, I am so thrilled that you felt so great inside to emulate the "grat" poet Shakespeare. I hope you keep it up dudette. The world is waiting for someone like you to break the traditional barriers of grammar and vocabulary.

Finally, I am indeed astonished and moved at the same time by your reaction. I guess you prefer the old BRAVO and WELL DONE replies. Had I known you were this type, I would have surely skipped the post altogether.

Thank you dear grandma and may God bless you

[اسيــ حبه ــرة]

Really lovely.. as a start

keep on plz

[Instigator]

,Dear sista Senurita
firstly, u r so welcome here with us among
.your luvly and friendly brothaz and sistaz
.So, have fun n' enjoy ur time here

Secondly, It's been a hot n' a long fight
.between da grandmotha and her little son
I really advise ya ta giv ur little son
'a punch or a slap ta stop arguin!!!!!
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
Bad guy startin' a fight
h3 h3 h3 h3 h3 h3 h3 h3 h3



.Thirdly, what a wonderful and amazin' poem
I really enjoyed readin' it by imaginin' dat lovely
.pictua of waitin' luv
Readin' ur full of luv words makes me
.fly ta touch da sky in da hope of meetin' luv
.It's wonderful az a start ta write a piece of work
.I hope ta see more from ya
.Keep it up, dear sista