just I want to be sure

[الواااقع]

I wrote this paragraph about Television with passive sentences. I want to tell me if it is right or not

Television

Television is shown various subjects.It is contained various programs which is satisfied all desires,tastes and cultures.It is included social problems,religious subjects and intertaining programs.It is taken place in most houses.
In fact,it has negative effects and positive.
One of the negative effects of failure that people on the practice of hobbies such as reading,writing and also the practice of sport. On the other hand, it is considered a means of education to contain channels of education

.


ياااااااااااااااا ليت تعدلون ما يحتاج التعديل بــــــــــــارك الله فيكــــــــــــــم

[Lancaster]

ماشاء الله محاولة رائعة جداً تسلم الأيادي

لكن خلينا نقلب شوي عشان المعنى مثل

Television is shown various subjects
Various subjects are shown on TV.
نبدأ بالمفعول
ثم الفعل المساعد المناسب للمفعول
ثم الفعل


راح أشيك عليه في اقرب فرصه إن شاء الله

[Lancaster]

كتبت موضوع بطريقتي الخاصة لكن من نفس المضمون إن شاء الله يعجبك
ولا تنسانامن دعواتك
Our lives has been changed by televisions in many ways. Many people now spend more time watching TV than doing anything else.

However, television offers both benefits and dangers to us. Firstly, The world is opened up by TV, whether through watching documentaries, news, or programs with multicultural characters.Actually, the information is presented to us in a more effective way than books. Secondly, the popularity of sports and arts has been increased through TV. Thus, all types of sports has been
shown and the audience has to choose his favorite sport.

In what concerns the dangers offered by television, the violence and
crime have been increased. A study showed that children who watch violent television programs are more likely to be violent themselves.

[الواااقع]

بــــــــــــــــــارك الله فيك و جزاااااااك الله خير الجزاااء على الإهتمـــــــــــــام بالموضوع و الرد

و بالفعل طريقتك أفضل بكثير من طريقتي.....لكــــــــــــــ� �ن كنت أتمنى أيضا تصحيح موضوعي لأني كتبت القطعة و وضعتها هنا في سعودي إنجلش لمساعدتي في تطوير كتابتي و الإستفادة من خبراتكم............و قمت بحفظ موضوعك للإستفادة من طريقتك المنظمة التي بالفعل سوف تكون إن شاء الله دليلي في الكتابة.........

شكــــــــــــــــــــــر اً جــــــــــــــزيلاً

[Lancaster]

ولا يهمك هذا تصحيح موضوعك من وجهة نظري

Nowadays, TV plays an important role in people's life. Various subjects are shown on TV such as social, religious, and amusing programs. Since, all desires, tastes, ages, and cultures are satisfied.

In fact, TV has negative and positive effects. One of the negative effects is turning people away from practicing their hobbies such as reading, writing, or exercising. On the other hand, it is considered an educational device to contain educational channels.

[الواااقع]

بــــــــــــــــــــارك الله فيك.....أختي Lancaster و يعطيك العافية على التصحيح و الله لا يحرمنا من خبرتك و علمك..........