يومياتي

[وفو]

السلام عليكم
كتبت هذي اليوميات
اللي له خبره في مجال اللغه يقراه و يخبرني بمدى صحته واخطائي فيه ...

holiday Diary in the Eid Al-Adha


Tomorrow is the first day in Eid Al-adha holiday .It is the fourth of Thu Al-Hejjah.
The college closed its doors .We received our relatives in our home where they come every holiday. I began thinking how to get benefits from this holiday. Therefore,
I try to approach to Allah more in these blessing days. Moreover, I try to visit my relatives and share them the fun of Eid. Also, I can watch the useful English programs. I try to study and review what I studied in college to compete my colleagues.
The fourth of thu-Al Hejjah is finished. I could not study any thing because I'm Tired after college so, I decided to take it as a rest.







Thursday 5-12

I got up early. I helped my mother in housework because all my family was fasting.
Then I sat on the computer and talked to my friends.
I read some English songs like Palestine tomorrow will be free and your mother.
It was a very beautiful song.
It was the sunset and all my family broke their fast.




Friday 6-12

I woke up then, I read some Qur'an .Then I watched a program about children in Saudi 2channel. I went to the market at night. I bought new Clothes for the Eid. I was tired so I went to sleep. Bye.





Saturday 7-12



I could not sleep last night. I was tired because I had sore throat.
I tried to drink hot drinks. But my health became worse. I did not go to the hospital because I did not like it.




Sunday 8-12

Today I felt better .All my family went to my elder sister. I enjoyed a lot and the weather was wonderful.





Monday 9-12

It was the Arafat day. We all were fasting we all had break fast and we became ready to spend Al-Eid. The Eid night I could not sleep. I was looking forward tomorrow.





Tuesday 10-12

I was still awake. We all get up early to have break fast and then we went to the mosque to pray Al-Eid prayer. Then we came back and we all wear new clothes. Our elder relatives gave us gifts and sweets.
After prayer, we sacrificed with a sheep. Then, we began to distribute the meat of the sacrificed animal to the poor people. After day of Eid finished days passed quickly. I began to prepare my books and pens to receive a new day in my colleague by reviewing my lessons.

It was really a very beautiful

Regards…

[وفو]

uppppppppp

[البـارع]

كتابتك رائعة
بعلق ع بعض الاشياء وللاسف ما عندي وقت للاخطاء الاملائية:
لاحظت تناقض هنا:

I try to study and review what I studied in college to compete my colleagues.
The fourth of thu-Al Hejjah is finished. I could not study any thing because I'm Tired

كأن فيها تناقض , وضحي هل راجعتي دروسك اولا.. وبالامكان تخلين المقطعين في جملة واحدة
.
راجعي الجمل هل هي في زمن الماضي او لا.. لاحظت كلمة try اكثر من مرة تحتاج تحويلها للماضي
.
.
اداوت الربط الكونجنكشنزتستخدمينها بكثره.
.
.
تحتاجين اضافة جملة او جميلتين لآخر جملة كخاتمة , وبدون regards الا اذا كانت رسالة

ويعطيك العافية
ابدعتي

[بالاخلاق نرتقي]

سبحان الله وبحمدة سبحان الله العظيم